This week I had to go through some uncomfortable tests because a part of my body was sending some alarming signals. It has been the scariest experience ever. Jumping from my normal life to some tiny rooms in a huge hospital filled with other alarmed people was something unexpected. Being examined by large cold machines, filling out paperwork. I felt scared.
At some point during one of the tests (an ultrasound) I got to see the shape of something weird inside my body. The lady doing the ultrasound was sweet, she kept trying to make me feel comfortable. But curiosity kept pushing me to look at the screen. My fears started to grow bigger and bigger. My head was spinning. What would happen if my children can’t have their Mom? How would that affect them? Those were my first thoughts. How is my husband going to cope if I’m not around?
I felt that my world was slowly turning upside down. I faced the possibility of not having the long life that I have planned for. The one where I see my kids graduating and getting married and having babies. The life where I materialize a long list of creative projects that I dream about everyday.
I had to keep pushing my inner tears back, I didn’t want them to come out. So the time arrived when I finally got to see the Dr. in a dark office with some illuminated screens showing photos of parts of my body that I will never see with my eyes. The Dr. started talking, I couldn’t understand many words, I was only focusing on that big word that starts with the letter C. She kept talking and the word never showed up. She finally said: now you can relax, go back home and continue with your life, everything is OK. We have nothing to worry about. All I said was: Thanks a lot Dr. what a huge relief!
I got dressed up in my regular clothes and went back to the deserted valet parking area to pick up my car. As soon as I was outside I took a deep breath, air felt like a gift, seeing people walking on the streets felt like a gift. I felt deeply grateful to be alive. The young man working at the valet parking looked tired, his face clearly told a story of someone who had a hard life. He gave me the keys with a serious but friendly face, I reached for my wallet and gave him all the cash I had as a tip, $20. He looked at me as if I had made a mistake. I said, please accept this as a gift to celebrate life. I just came back from some crazy tests and thank God everything is OK. He gave me the most beautiful smile and a high 5. I said, man, life is beautiful, we shouldn’t take it for granted. Have a wonderful day and God bless you.
I left the empty valet parking area while looking through the mirror. I saw him smiling. As soon as I got into the busy traffic on the street I started crying, I was so happy that I just let my tears some out.
So today is my birthday. I’m turning 42 years old, the same age that my grandma (my Mom’s Mom) was when she died due to the same thing that made me go have some tests. I miss grandma even though we never met. But I choose to think that she has something to do with me getting the best birthday gift ever, the confirmation that I can keep going with my life. I still have a bunch of years to enjoy.
All I want to say is thank you everyone and everything for existing. I love you from the bottom of my heart.
Life is wonderful and I love being alive 🙂
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Happy Birthday and Congratulations for the good news about your health!
Bonne fete ma cherie! I am blessed to ‘know’ you. Stay well for a very long time, please!
Helene recently posted..The Kids
I hope you have a truly wonderful and fun birthday! I know your husband and kids would surely miss you if you weren’t in their lives. But guess what? So would many other people you haven’t even met!! Your kindness, warm spirit and lively creative soul make this ol world a much better place! XOXO
Happy Birthday, Elsita! 🙂
Dear Elsa, when we do birthday, we celebrate the past years and hope the coming years. I believe that the greatest beauty of life is not being afraid to give yourself over to it, trusting that God and Nature are always guiding us in the direction of truth and love. I wish you a day of peace, love and health next of the people you love most, whether they are by your side or in front of a computer. Happy Birthday!!
I am so happy you are alive. And that you were born. Thank you for sharing. I know you do so not for a pity party but really to share life. What a blessing.
Susan Wells recently posted..Night Moth Visitor
Happy Birthday, Elsita, and best wishes for a long and wonderful future. Thank you for sharing your good news!
Happy Birthday, Elsa! The world is a better place from your amazing creative presence!
Amanda Polson recently posted..Breakfast at the Inn
Great News re: the tests. Jeez, they find more ways to scare us!
I simply want to say happy birthday when i saw the headline and unexpected to read this story, I’m so glad that everything is fine, you are blessed! So good that we can see your unlimited creative projects just like we used to it everyday! Big hug!
Happy Birthday! I just found you through the Crash Course on Creativity. Your art is so inspiring! Glad everything turned out well.
Heather Carson recently posted..Lemonade Stand Printables
Happy Birthday, Elsita! Your story is beautiful, and all your friends whom you’ve never met are so relieved that everything is okay. Here’s hoping you have many many more years of love and creativity.
Feliz cumple!!! I hope that you have the loveliest of days!!!!
Muchas felicidades, Elsita!
Me alegran las buenas nuevas y que estés feliz.
I had a few tests myself recently and had the same thoughts you did. This post made me tear up because of how happy you made the valet. What a wonderful gesture! Love to you!
Happy Birthday Elsita! Thank you for sharing your experience, for all that you do, and most of all for being you. You make the world a richer more meaningful place! Sending you love on your special day~ Jane xo
Happy birthday, Elsita. So glad to hear that everything is ok 🙂
May you live a long, blessed, artful life with your loved ones.
You deserve it so. Your life, your creativity, your generosity touches so many lives.
Thank you Elsita, t feliz cumpleanos!!!
Thanks for sharing your life affirming wonderful day with us. Happiness and fulfillment to you. 🙂
Winnie Rose Reyes-Moye recently posted..More update on the gourd birdhouse…
Happy Birthday, Elsita!! I’m so happy to hear that everything is ok, and thank you for reminding me to be thankful for every day we get on this planet. It’s the sweetest gift. xo, Mary
Mary recently posted..Scenes from Life + New Prints
O Elsa – i am so so so glad that you are ok and that the tests were negative. And so sorry I forgot to wish you today – i had it in my head that I want to write to you for your birthday but i totally mis-remembered the date. Happy Birthday, my dear friend. Really hope we can meet soon.
So wonderful to hear Elsa! Happy, happy day to you… We’ve many years ahead of us to create, collaborate, and share this good energy. Oh, you beautiful soul you. Take good care. ox
I am very happy that you are here on this planet to stay. The world is a better place with you in it. 🙂
Elsa—-Beautiful sentiments….so happy that you are fine….and yes, you received the BEST birthday gift, right? My wish for you is much health, love, peace and lots of time to keep exploring life and art….felicidades y un abrazo muy grande para ti!! 🙂
Happy Birthday Elsa! I’m so glad to hear that your healthy. I hope you are having a wonderful day!
Oshi recently posted..Paula Bedwell
Dear Elsa, You are very brave. I’m proud of you. You are an inspiration in many ways to many people. I’m glad you gave the valet guy 20 bucks in celebration of your renewing news. I’m glad to see the crown that belongs at the top of your birthday blog. I’m grateful you’ll be with us. I pray you will always find joy in life. Thank you for this opportunity to wish you happy birthday, dear Elsita.
Happy Birthday…. the scary family health history effects many of us ….and the dates or ages of those before us sit as milestones for us to contend with. We look at ourselves and since it is family history we assume our lives might be troubled by the same milestones as those before us. Congratulations that you have gotten over one hump and see a bright new horizon. Wishing you a beautiful birthday!!
I’m glad that your tests turned out negative, it’s always a good idea to get these things checked out. Life is wonderful. Happy Birthday and I hope that you enjoy many more!
So beautiful to read your blog. Enjoy your life.
By the way: may 9. 1971 is my birthyear/ date as well!
Regards from the Netherlands
Happy birthday Elsita and I’m so glad you’re OK! You have a lot of living to do – you’re a year younger than my mother was when I was born! Enjoy the loveliness of life.
Lesley recently posted..“Archaeology – Lagomorpha”
Oh, Elsita. Happy Birthday…so happy to hear the good news. xo
Elsita, my birthday is tomorrow, May 15. I am turning 48. I feel like your post was a special gift for me and I thank you! I needed to read what you had to say. Life is a wonderful gift and I’m filled with gratitude.
So glad i found your blog and I look forward to return visits,
Elsa, just want to say that I stumbled across your blog last night and it is truly wonderful. I hope you don’t mind, but I shared your welcome page and this post today on my blog. I linked directly back to you of course. Thank you for sharing this post. It’s beautiful. You are my inspiration today.
Keep creating and have a great day, Pam
link to the post: http://batesmercantileco.blogspot.com/2013/06/what-inspires-you-wednesday_12.html
How scary, Elsita! Love to you!
メガネオークリー サングラスオークリー http://www.shpsorespsible.info/
Hi Elsita Isn’t funny the way the universe works I am an artist .Today I clicked on your blog and found this post about your scare. I am in the middle of a bad scare. I am going for a surgery for breast cancer on the 21 of November. Like you I have an incredible wonderful boy. He is nine . What happens if I am not around for him ? I dread and yet today I looked at the Rockies covered in snow. I held my friend little toddler and showed him lots of sparkly things. Life is abundant with so much wonder and blessings . If I get this I am going to make art and celebrate with every cell of my being .
I love your work. It connects to femininity, to play, to humor and beauty. Thank you for connecting your gifts to us all.
Triona, I am sending tons of good energy your way for a successful surgery and recovery and for a long and happy life full of love with your boy. Use art and creativity in the recovery process as a way to heal. The mind plays an important role in healing. You are definitely on the right path. I will keep you in my prayers. I would love to hear from you again.
Sending a big hug,