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If you ever find yourself stuck in any area of life, chances are that there is someone out there who can help you get unstuck.
Here is a personal example: I have dealt with emotional eating for a while. Starting in my teenage years and as a result of different factors, weight and food became issues to me. If you don’t have this kind of problem, God bless you. If you do, then I don’t have to explain how difficult it is.
I bet that more people than we imagine suffer, in some degree, from an eating/weight problem. But the social pressure (which is part of the problem itself) is so strong that we feel ashamed to talk about it openly. We either go to one extreme or the other. Sometimes we enter the denial zone: I am overweight/underweight but this is my body and I have to accept it because what really matters is what is within, bla bla bla. Or we go the other way around and carry out extreme measures to “fix” the problem. Non of these tendencies are good, healthy, or effective in the long-term. Instead of fixing the problem, they perpetuate it. I have visited both of those places. But as I get older and more mature, I realize that the ideal thing is to find a middle point, a place that makes sense.
When we have been lost for a while, it is best to jump out of our vicious circle and ask for directions. We shouldn’t feel ashamed of it. It is more stupid to keep going in circles forever, without getting anywhere.
Something clicked in my brain not too long ago. A little voice told me: STOP! You don’t have to carry this alone, go out and find someone who can give you a hand. I went straight to Google and started looking for a nutritionist that was a good fit for me. Someone from my area kept coming up over and over in the search. A young woman who has a holistic approach to nutrition. She thinks that body and mind are one, they work together. She also thinks that body weight is not exactly a problem but a symptom, the problem is behind it and that is where she heads.
So I went to see her. It has been one of the best things that I have done for myself in a long time. We talked about my past and present, about the family I come from, my traumas … With her experience and the information I provided, she put together a program for me. We don’t call it diet because she doesn’t believe in diets. She believes in gradually healing your body by making good choices. I have been into it for a couple of months. Now comes the part where I should say: and now life is perfect and I have nothing to worry about! But that happens only in movies. Real life is not that simple. In life, like in nature, everything is a process. True transformation is a slow learning process that goes through different stages. That includes falling off the wagon, trying to get back in the wagon, getting dizzy of the wagon, loving the wagon, hating the wagon…until you are finally grateful to be in the new place where that wagon has taken you to.
This story applies to anything. If we really want to solve a problem, the first step is to admit that we have one. Then we need to come out from our isolation. It is a scary thing to do, but as soon as we get out, different doors start opening. The third element is having a support system. It is very hard to succeed without support. I have always have support from the people who love me, but it works wonders when you have the support of someone who is not exactly a relative or a friend, but a person that sees you in a more neutral way and someone who is an expert in the area where you are experiencing difficulties.
Now, if you own an iPad, here is a useful app that I recommend: UNSTUCK. This is a great tool to get some mental clarity when you feel stuck. The app gives you tips and ways to get unstuck. I have used it a few times since last year and I love it.
To end this post I only want to say that life, just like art, is a constant process of experimentation. I believe that we get the best results when we are open to exploration and learning. We should never feel like we know everything about anything because that is not possible. We know so little, but that’s the beauty of being alive. As long as we’re here, we have plenty of opportunities for learning new things and for being better and happier than we are now.
Unstuck from Unstuck on Vimeo.
Great post!! I too am stuck at times, so I really can relate to your words. Very inspiring….Thank you for sharing this!
Thanks, Lucy! I think that getting stuck is human. We all experience it at some point 🙂
Elsa Mora recently posted..Getting Unstuck.
Me sentí plenamente identificada con tu problema. Muchas gracias por compartirlo, de verdad.
Hermoso. Gracias
Gracias, Coni. Pienso que muchas mujeres padacemos de este problema. Por eso es importante abrirnos y apoyarnos. Un abrazo grande para ti!
Elsita 🙂
Elsa Mora recently posted..Getting Unstuck.
Becoming unstuck IS a process, not a quick fix. In fact, it seems everything is a process, it is the journey which is really all we have. Travelers in constant motion, of a sort. We are not here to sit on a rock and bemoan our fate. We are here to evolve, whatever that means for each of us. Thank you for sharing this part of your story. xo
Marylinn Kelly recently posted..A Nightingale Sang and Gloria’s playlist grows
I couldn’t agree more, Marylinn. I believe that everything is a process. Our fast-paced life tends to make us want find quick fix solutions to our problems, but that doesn’t work. We need to slow down, take the right steps and be very patient.
Elsa Mora recently posted..Getting Unstuck.
thank you so much for this! I needed to hear this today dear girl!
Hi Stephie! You’re so welcome! 🙂
Elsa Mora recently posted..Getting Unstuck.
Thank you so much for this. You are a truly good friend. I am working pretty hard on working my way out of stuckdom and back into some kind of balance.
Perfection isn’t possible for humans so I strive to maintain balance and as much harmony as I can — which can be a struggle at times. It really, really helps to know that there are people like you out there in the world.
PamV recently posted..Still Stuck in the Pricker Bush
Hi Pam! I also think that perfection isn’t possible. Admitting that we’re imperfect makes a great difference when we want change. Sometimes we stay in isolation because we think that everyone else out there is perfect. But as humans, we all have different issues to deal with. Finding balance is a lifetime work, we need to understand that, it is a journey. The most important thing is to keep trying until we get results.
Elsa Mora recently posted..Getting Unstuck.
Thank you so much for talking about this. I recently went to an intensive outpatient program for an eating disorder and have started the process of intuitive eating. Thank you for being so open about your story- I have been trying to get people talking about it too. I’m tired of the stigma and society prentending eating disorders aren’t everywhere you turn- which they are, we just don’t talk about it other than crude jokes every once in a while! Anyways thank you for opening up a discussion and opening up your story so others can be inpired by your bravity in “coming out” in a way 🙂
You’re so welcome, Rosaura. I wish you all the best with your program, it sounds great. It breaks my heart when children start suffering from eating disorders even at a young age. A great part of what makes me open up about this subject is to be honest with my own children so they can learn from me. I don’t want this to be a secret or something to be ashamed of. Hiding problems only makes them bigger.
Elsa Mora recently posted..Getting Unstuck.
The hardest steps are the first ones, trying to get moving in a new direction. This post made me cry, because it is beautiful and it is true.
Yes Janet, the first steps are the hardest. But then it feels great when you start moving forward.
Elsa Mora recently posted..Getting Unstuck.
I thought of this quote when I read your blog post.
“Telling your story is the most profound healing that you can do. If you can tell your story, then you will heal yourself, and you’ll help other people do the same.” – Andrea Buchanan author of Note to Self
Nessy recently posted..Fava Beans – How to Prepare
Hi Nessy! Those are nice words. Thanks for sharing them 🙂
Elsa Mora recently posted..Steffen Dam’s Mind-Blowing Glass Sculptures.
Your post is very inspiring. The difficult part for me is moving out of isolation and asking for help. Thank you for your lovely blog.
Hi, Elsita!
This article is exactly about what happened to me the other day. It was quite painful to realize that I really had a problem. I had to ways of action: a difficult one – to solve it myself, and not a very easy one, but worth trying – to ask for help. i took the second, and it worked! My neighbour helped me so much, I’m very grateful to her. I hope it will be a good lesson for me, not to try to be I-know-everything, but turn to others. It’s the right way to do.
Thank you 🙂
All the BEST to you and your family,
Ann