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Here is a portrait that I painted inspired by my daughter Natalie. She’s turning 12 this year. What an important age! It was around that age that I experienced the things that impacted me the most in my childhood. Some were very negative and some very positive. This is the age where you start building your character and opinions about everything. I’m loving seeing Natalie grow up and get closer to being a teenager.
One of the first things that I did when Natalie was born was to read ‘Staying Connected to your Teenager‘ by Michael Riera. It’s never too early (or too late) to learn the ABC of how to have a strong relationship with your teenager. I decided back then that I was going to make of that complicated phase a positive one, and I stick to that idea today.
The bottom line of what the book that I mentioned above taught me applies to any phase of life. No matter what age we are, the things that we need are basically the same: understanding, support, and love.
Those three elements can be expressed in a million ways. But here are my 3 main concrete ways:
1.Understanding:
Listen carefully, even when she/he is not saying anything. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
2. Support
Say words such as “I’m sorry”, “I understand”, “I’m here to help”. But also do help in concrete ways to show that you care.
3. Love
Lots of hugs, kisses and saying I love you.
And an extra bonus: Stop lecturing.
But do you know what I have discovered that works best of all? Humor! Find the humor in everything and make the other person (and yourself) laugh. It’s never a good idea to take things too seriously.
I now leave you with a joke created by Diego the other night. Here is what he said:
Hey Mom. Guess what you call a breakfast walking on a tightrope?
-A balanced breakfast.
Have a great day!
Elsita
PS. ↓
Here Natalie looks very serious, but the truth is that we were laughing like crazy during the process of taking this picture. This is the photo that inspired the portrait above. But I think that you have already made that connection. 🙂
Beautiful portrait and beautiful words 🙂 I’m sure you’re a great mother, Elsita, and your daughter Natalie will appreciate that for sure.
Take care!
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Thanks for your words, Rosa! Have a great day!
Elsita
Elsa Mora recently posted..A Portrait of my Daughter.
So beautiful. She’s a lovely girl and your portrait absolutely did her justice. What a wonderful heirloom you’ve created. <3
Thanks, Susan! 🙂
Elsa Mora recently posted..A Portrait of my Daughter.
good advice…i will have to work on the lecturing part ;oP. My son is about to turn 12 on Friday. He still loves to cuddle and laugh and I embrace those moments! beautiful painting.
Hi Rebecca! How lucky you are to have an almost 12-year-old son that still loves to cuddle and laugh! The lecturing thing is so hard to stop sometimes. But we still need to get important lessons into their brains, the key is to do it in a creative way so they don’t feel like “little kids”. Happy birthday to your boy! 🙂
Elsa Mora recently posted..A Portrait of my Daughter.
Lovely portrait, and thoughtful post. I agree a sense of humor is one of the keys to the teen years (not that they will always find it funny at the time but looking back they will)
You’re right, Catharina! It’s better to keep using a healthy amount of humor even if sometimes they don’t get it. Humor is great for creating a more relaxed atmosphere.
Elsa Mora recently posted..A Portrait of my Daughter.
I love reading how other moms/parents think and dream. This was so beautiful and honest.
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Thanks, Amanda! 🙂
Elsa Mora recently posted..A Portrait of my Daughter.
While I didn’t read the book you mentioned I did follow those rules and today my 26 year old daughter continues to make me proud and I’m so honored to be her mama. Lovely portrait of your beautiful girl.
Congratulations, Maude! Great to hear that your daughter continues to make you proud as an adult. You did a great job as a Mom. And she’s is now the best reward 🙂
Elsa Mora recently posted..A Portrait of my Daughter.
Que bonito retrato, que concejos tan sabios, los pondre en practica con mis alumnos y por supuesto con mi esteban preadolescente (10 años), al que le doy un sermon, mas o menos cada 5 minutos.
Holo Clara! Mi hijo Diego cumple 10 en Julio. El es quien me da los sermones a mi 🙂 Saludos a ti y a tu hombrecito Esteban!
Elsa Mora recently posted..A Portrait of my Daughter.
its a beautiful portrait of a beautiful girl.
FANTASTIC painting, Elsita!