If Life Give you Lemons, Stop for a Second to Smell the Roses
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My Facebook post from yesterday:
I just found out that my 7-year-old autistic son was bullied in the school bathroom yesterday. Thank God I have prepared him for something like that for years. He responded well, the bullies went in detention and I am following up with the teacher and school principal. Diego is a tough boy, he is OK.
As a parent who has always been alert and watching for possible bullying episodes, I want to share my 3 golden rules:
1. Help your child build the STRONGEST SELF-ESTEEM possible. That is the basement for everything else.
2. Do not blame him/her for what happened. Instead, offer support and understanding immediately. Otherwise you will make him/her feel isolated.
3. Be closely in touch with the school. Keep an eye on what’s going on over there, observe, get to know the other kids. Watch what’s your child’s dynamic in school. And build a positive relationship with the teacher and school principal.
My Facebook post number 2:
Following up with my earlier post:
Today I dedicated my whole day to Diego. I went back to his school to learn every tiny detail about what happened. I talked separately with everyone involved. I am extremely grateful for how the school handled everything.
After school was finished I took Diego for a special Mom-son time. I took him to his favorite place where he got his favorite cookies. We talked about the incident again, I didn’t say a lot, I just wanted him to communicate whatever was in his head. He said that he was VERY MAD at those kids, but not anymore. He said that now he was happy again.
We got home and I still felt that he needed to express his feelings through drawing so here is what he drew. It made me so happy! He’s the big figure yelling STOP!!!! Notice how large he drew himself. That’s a wonderful sign. The other kids look scared. It’s funny because in the drawing he doesn’t look like a victim at all. He sees himself as a powerful person (and he is).
This incident has been a positive experience in the end. I somehow knew that this was going to happen one day. I am so glad that I was ready and that he was ready too. Today his self-esteem grew a few inches. Now the journey continues. We’re looking forward to the future.
↑ Diego asking 2 bullies to stop bothering him. (I encourage Diego to express his emotions through drawing, it helps him become more self-aware)
Bad things happen no matter how much you try to prevent them. The most important thing is to keep a positive mind. Whenever I’m going trough a challenging time I carefully watch the video above. It puts me in touch with what really matters.
Cultivating gratefulness today.
“You think this is just another day in your life. It’s not just another day, it’s the one day that is given to you, today. It’s given to you, it’s a gift. It’s the only gift that you have right now. And the only appropriate response is gratefulness.
If you do nothing else but to cultivate that response to the great gift that this unique day is. If you learn to respond as if it were the first day in your life and the very last day. Then you will have spent this day very well.” (from the movie)
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Ti capisco, anche mia figlia, che adesso è adolescente, ha subito quando era piccola, aggressioni da bulli, e la cosa peggiore è che le insegnanti sono state conniventi, e addirittura loro stesse anno minato fortemente l’autostima della mia ragazza. C’è voluta molta pazienza e forza d’animo per sostenerla ed ogni volta ricostruire su basi sempre più solide forza interiore e autocoscienza. Per far esprimere mia figlia utilizzavo i burattini. Coraggio non arrenderti mai. Auguri di buona vita a tutti voi. Grazie per aver condiviso il video, mi serviva proprio in questo momento di sconforto. Un abbraccio Glori
Glori recently posted..Volo senza paracadute, e continua a nevicare.
Grazie per le tue parole, Glori. Mi dispiace per quello che è successo a sua figlia. E ‘ancora più difficile quando i docenti sono parte del problema. Ma lei ha una mamma buona e questa è la cosa più importante. L’amore guarisce tutto. Ti mando un abbraccio! Elsita
It is a terrible thing to be bullied, but it sounds like Diego did a good job of protecting himself, and the adults at the school are interested in protecting him. It happened, but good for you Diego, don’t let anyone push you around.
Yes Janet, he did a great job and very fortunately the school was cooperative. It was a painful but important lesson for Diego. He is so innocente, it’s hard for him to understand that some people are sometimes mean.
Elsa Mora recently posted..If Life Give you Lemons, Stop for a Second to Smell the Roses
Congratulations on how you and your son handled this situation. Bullying is one of the negative sides of schools and our society and as a teacher I really try hard to explain to students what it is and what we should all do about it. AriadnefromGreece!
Ariadne recently posted..Sea Glass gifts
You’re right, Ariadne, bullying is one of the negative sides of schools. I’m glad that at Diego school they take bullying seriously. It makes a difference.
Elsa Mora recently posted..A Drawing from my Sketchbook. Inspired by Nina Führer’s Photographs
Great post – I love the drawing.
Scritch recently posted..Sketch Book Pages
Thanks, Janine.
Elsita—You handled this beautifully as did Diego. One of my friends’ daughters was bullied for a long time. They invented a game to conquer the bullies and wrote a book about it. I think that they turned lemons into lemonade for sure. Take a look:
http://www.amazon.com/Baffle-That-Bully-Control-Interest/dp/1480094943/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360365352&sr=8-1&keywords=amy+anichini
—Gina
Gina, I just purchased the Kindle version of the book. I want to read it later after the kids go to bed. I’m trying to get as educated as possible on the subject. Thanks a lot for the link!
Elsa Mora recently posted..A Drawing from my Sketchbook. Inspired by Nina Führer’s Photographs
gracias, Elsita…..tenía varios días sin visitarte en tu bello blog. Gracias por tu trabajo y mensaje. Good for me today, I tell you. Thank you…..
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