If you ever find yourself stuck in any area of life, chances are that there is someone out there who can help you get unstuck.
Here is a personal example: I have dealt with emotional eating for a while. Starting in my teenage years and as a result of different factors, weight and food became issues to me. If you don’t have this kind of problem, God bless you. If you do, then I don’t have to explain how difficult it is.
I bet that more people than we imagine suffer, in some degree, from an eating/weight problem. But the social pressure (which is part of the problem itself) is so strong that we feel ashamed to talk about it openly. We either go to one extreme or the other. Sometimes we enter the denial zone: I am overweight/underweight but this is my body and I have to accept it because what really matters is what is within, bla bla bla. Or we go the other way around and carry out extreme measures to “fix” the problem. Non of these tendencies are good, healthy, or effective in the long-term. Instead of fixing the problem, they perpetuate it. I have visited both of those places. But as I get older and more mature, I realize that the ideal thing is to find a middle point, a place that makes sense.
When we have been lost for a while, it is best to jump out of our vicious circle and ask for directions. We shouldn’t feel ashamed of it. It is more stupid to keep going in circles forever, without getting anywhere.
Something clicked in my brain not too long ago. A little voice told me: STOP! You don’t have to carry this alone, go out and find someone who can give you a hand. I went straight to Google and started looking for a nutritionist that was a good fit for me. Someone from my area kept coming up over and over in the search. A young woman who has a holistic approach to nutrition. She thinks that body and mind are one, they work together. She also thinks that body weight is not exactly a problem but a symptom, the problem is behind it and that is where she heads.
So I went to see her. It has been one of the best things that I have done for myself in a long time. We talked about my past and present, about the family I come from, my traumas … With her experience and the information I provided, she put together a program for me. We don’t call it diet because she doesn’t believe in diets. She believes in gradually healing your body by making good choices. I have been into it for a couple of months. Now comes the part where I should say: and now life is perfect and I have nothing to worry about! But that happens only in movies. Real life is not that simple. In life, like in nature, everything is a process. True transformation is a slow learning process that goes through different stages. That includes falling off the wagon, trying to get back in the wagon, getting dizzy of the wagon, loving the wagon, hating the wagon…until you are finally grateful to be in the new place where that wagon has taken you to.
This story applies to anything. If we really want to solve a problem, the first step is to admit that we have one. Then we need to come out from our isolation. It is a scary thing to do, but as soon as we get out, different doors start opening. The third element is having a support system. It is very hard to succeed without support. I have always have support from the people who love me, but it works wonders when you have the support of someone who is not exactly a relative or a friend, but a person that sees you in a more neutral way and someone who is an expert in the area where you are experiencing difficulties.
Now, if you own an iPad, here is a useful app that I recommend: UNSTUCK. This is a great tool to get some mental clarity when you feel stuck. The app gives you tips and ways to get unstuck. I have used it a few times since last year and I love it.
To end this post I only want to say that life, just like art, is a constant process of experimentation. I believe that we get the best results when we are open to exploration and learning. We should never feel like we know everything about anything because that is not possible. We know so little, but that’s the beauty of being alive. As long as we’re here, we have plenty of opportunities for learning new things and for being better and happier than we are now.